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Dirty Dailies


Joke #1
A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much his wife loved him. 

She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled, 

"My husband's home! My husband's home!"

Joke #2
This guy's walking along the beach when he kicks a bottle. Much to his surprise, a genie flies out. "Oh master," it declaims, "your wish is my command."

Great, thinks the guy, his chance has finally come! "Genie," he demands, "give me a cock that touches the floor." 
Whereupon both his legs fell off.

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