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Dirty Dailies


I realized I made a boo boo and haven't posted my Dirty Dailies for the past two days. *slaps forehead* So today you get three jokes to make up for them. :)

At a shoe store, a salesman helps this woman to try on some shoes. As he lifts up her leg to put on the shoe, he can see downtown because she's not wearing any panties. Risking his job the guy says, "I could eat that full of ice cream." The woman gets all embarrassed, slaps the guy and runs out of the store. When she gets home she tells her husband to go beat that man up. Her husband says "First of all, you shouldn't have been anywhere without any panties. Second, I don't know what you were doing in there in the first place, because you have enough shoes as is. And thirdly, I'm not messing with anybody that eat that much ice cream."

A man goes to see the doctor to ask for three Viagra pills. The doctor says, "These are very powerful pills so I need to know why you need three." "Well," the guy says, "my girlfriend is coming over Friday, my ex-wife on Saturday, and my new-wife is coming home on Saturday and I need these pills so I can satisfied them all." The doctor said "Ok on one condition, that you come in on Monday so I can check your vitals to make sure you are ok." The man agrees. So Monday comes and the man sees the doctor, but both arms are in slings. "Oh my! What happened?" The doctor asked. The man replied "Nobody showed up I was alone all weekend!"

One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand. The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo, looks for another student to ask. Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely." Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?" "Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in different.'"

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